That’s definitely a threat. But it’s a risk I’m willing to take.


-starts shaking maracas in an increasing volume-




I’ll follow you around and play my maracas all the time so that your life will have a maraca soundtrack. 


no, please. i’ll teach you how to pop and lock



are you going to the swimmies club this summer

Do I look like a club person to you.

are you going to purchase your senior yearbook so you can one day look back at all your friends and teachers with fond memories? since you'll probably grow apart and all, it might be good to have some memento of highschool.

Nah I hate yearbooks. 


Wow, t-this is like the most you’ve ever said. Ever.

Seriously I should have recorded this, no one will believe me that you can form more then two sentences at a time.

And YOU ARE the most normal ass piece of shit in the world. You’re like a sack of fucking potatoes, why do you think I keep giving you props.
But you are also complex, like a potato. Add milk, you become mushy as fuck, add some salt and fry you up and your fine fast food cuisine and I don’t know why the fuck I am comparing you to a potato because I suck at talking about this shit and you’re really nothing like a potato except maybe a potato stamp cause those are cool as fuck and that’s why I LIKE YOU cause your a pota- CAUSE I- WE don’t have to talk about this gay ass shit. but… I guess it’s nice hearing it AND HOW DARE YOU DOUBT THAT I CARE cause I don’t care cause I’m not a homo, well maybe a little but only when you get too homo and it rubs off on me cause your a big homo for me you don’t have to tell me since I already know and shut the fuck up I”m rambling you big gay potato


Okay shut up


look at you talkin about your feelings all open and stuff good job :') you know swag appreciates it

>B//( Don’t get USED to it


Let me have a GOD DAMN MINUTE


If you’re finally going to admit your undying love for me right before I go to college your timing is really fucking bad.

W-will you SHUT UP for a MINUTE

… Look, I’d never really had a friend who really… I dunno, gave a shit about me beyond the stupid… aloof way I act normally. 

You were so annoyingly persistent in becoming my friend. No one had ever really given that much of a shit about me. I know it, sounds kinda stupid but like. Even though I told you to get lost for so fuckin long you still wanted to hang out with me and shit. And… you always just acted like I was the most normal guy in the world even though I was like super goth and never spoke and like you just didn’t even give a shit about —

I don’t know if I’m making all this stuff up in my mind and you really never even gave a shit but. It’s always meant a lot to me and… you’re really important to me. 

… Okay that’s it that’s what I wanted to say.


…yeah. I’ll fucking miss you too.

You have a lot of friends here now though. You’ll be fine. 

… Hey, don’t sell yourself short, as if just any ole asshole could take your place.

… Hah, sorry I… know you probably don’t wanna talk about this shit on your birthday. But I just wanna let you know you… your friendship……. means a lot to me……